Posts in "Relationships"

Sip Or Spill The Tea?

It’s Hot! Juicy! Ooooh you can even smell it a mile away. Hmmm let’s just call it a 6th sense. Yes! When the gossip is in the air you can pick it out a full line up! As much as you try to hold it in it just spills out of your mouth and splatters on the closest ear that‘s in listening reach. Every conversation even if you start off by talking about something productive it always ends up with the weekly “he say, she say” tidbits of the week. Your homegirl told you something in private & instead of keeping it to yourself you just tell yourself I’m only going to tell your one other good friend and that’s it! You can insert a side eye look right about now because we knows what happens next…yes just a messy game of high school telephone where the message somehow gets chopped and screwed.

Even though you might tell yourself just being the carrier of “factual” information is harmless it often does more harm than good…

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Watch What You Say– Yes people love you! They simply can’t get enough of your bubbly personality, your trendy clothing but you are the school’s verbal social blogger. You always seem to have the newest gossip before anybody knows. Now, as you might think that what you are spitting out can be backed up by the Encyclopedia in all actuality, you may be the cause of the problem. As much as this may be hard to swallow people who continually spread info about other people’s lives often do not have a life of their own and are not focusing on themselves enough. True statement. Ouch!

Like Wildfire-In most cases people who want personal info to spread, they will ultimately share it with other people themselves. The fact that someone came to you in private and shared information with you means that they trust you. Trust is a hard trait to gain, so don’t take it so lightly. If they ask for you not to spread it, you should respect them and your friendship enough to not continue to pass on rumors.

Goes Around, Comes Around– “What goes around, comes around,” right? Right! Not trying to simply scare you but you must understand that life is a cycle. Which means whatever you put out in the world is what you will get back in your own life. So to break it down, if your are the rumor queen of your clique or school, do you not think that soon enough there is going to be a rumor spread about you pretty soon?? As basic as it might seem it’s important to treat others how you want to be treated. You would hate for the school to think you made out or even slept with a your guy friend, especially if it’s not true right?

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Just always think twice before you sip or spill the tea! You are too fly to be caught up in everybody’s world except your own!

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Stay dope.

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Crush Alert!

“Okay say calm, don’t freak out and most important do not tumble down these stairs. You’re good, just be yourself and don’t over think the situation. Wait, did I spill something on my shirt earlier. Ugh! I hope he doesn’t notice! Ok, ok here he comes! Wait do I look? I don’t want to stare! Oh he’s gorgeous! Oh my goodness he’s looking! He’s looking! What do I do?? Dang! I knew it was a step there!Nooo! Now, he’s going to think I’m the weird girl who can’t walk down a flight of stairs. My life is over!’”

Yes, these are all the dramatic thoughts that popped in your head 2.5 seconds before you turned the corner to walk by your crush. For the past 2 months you have been relating every love song on the radio to him and your guys “future” relationship. Now you’re tired of just imagining the first conversation you will have with him, the first laugh you, or even the first kiss. To be honest you’re not even sure how much you even like him since you guys never officially exchanged words but long glances instead.

Here are few ways to catch the eye of your secret crush

Kick Up the Confidence– You’re smart, beautiful, talented, hilarious, ambitious ….yes the list can continue to unfold. The problem isn’t that you don’t know how fly you are it’s just when you see your crush you start to question all your great traits. Well, it’s time to throw those insecurities out the door…for good! Just because you see someone you may be interested in that doesn’t mean that your characteristics vanish. Actually it’s time to embrace your qualities even more. Once you begin noticing everything you have to offer, your nervousness will go out the window. You’ll realize that he should want to get to know you better!

Laugh It Up!– Your life is already stressful enough, do not add your crush to the list of things that keep you from getting 8 hours of sleep at night. The experience of crushing and attracting people is a fun experience. Not only guys but people are just naturally attracted to people who enjoy to have fun and are not afraid to be themselves. Once you get all the extra nervous jitters out of your system and your natural fun personality come through, you will start to see a major difference in all who you attract.

Brains Over Beauty– Yeah, I get it. All the rules tell you to bat your eyes, switch your hips, and make sure your face of makeup is perfect to get a guy. Hmmm Toss it! Yes guys do notice your appearance but you’re already beautiful so what’s next?? If you’re truly interested in catching the guy you like stop looking at him as a guy and look at him as a person. In this case you will be able to talk to him like a friend and have a chance for you guys to truly like each other as a whole. They’re tons of fly girls but only few have a fly attitude to go along with it.

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So go ahead and catch the eye of that special guy, I’m sure it will turn the other way soon.

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Lost In The Mix!

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From the parentals demanding 1,000 tasks from you to your friends wanting to be their counselor to your boyfriend missing you, it’s completely easy for you to get lost in everybody’s world! Relationships are apart of our daily routine. Yes, we all have those days where we want to crawl in bed to avoid everybody for weeks (private island, anyone?). But we have to face our lives making sure we’re managing healthy connections with people without being drained or lost in the mix of everybody’s lives! Ok, enough with the mini sermon + now to the quick tips that will change your life!

Space + Time for Yourself- I know your friends are like your sisters and your boyfriend is your future husband BUT sometimes you actually need a breather from everyone. A little space + quiet times allow you to unclutter others thoughts and really dig into how you feel and your outlook in life (without anybody’s opinions).

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Everybody Is Not For Everything- Ok, have you ever been frustrated telling a friend something that they simply didn’t understand or didn’t care about? Before you write them off completely just realize you have different friends for different spaces in your life. You may have a homegirl who’s lively + fun who’s great for parties and another friend is a great listener, you see where we’re going with this? Give your friends a little space to see what their strong points are!

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Pockets of Happiness- Pause! What makes you happy? No, like really happy when no one is watching or looking.  Knowing what makes you happy will allow you to not feel drained when you deal with everybody in your life. Remember you can’t fill others glasses of happiness if yours is always empty!

Ask + You Shall Receive-  It’s true. It can be scary to say ‘No’ to the people who you care about  because it’s a fear they may get mad or leave your life. Ok, so quiet the drama queen in your mind for a sec. and just listen. People who really love you will understand and respect your options to have time for yourself or have some ‘me’ time when you ask for a little space.

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Kisses to Y-O-U!

Oh, how love is in the air! Hugs, kisses, chocolates, bears and the oh so sweet surprise gifts that Valentine’s Day brings! So it’s great if your boyfriend or girlfriend showers you with gifts but let’s be honest who doesn’t love to spoil themselves a little bit, too?  No matter if you’re boo’d up with your love or kicking it with your girlfriends, it’s all about showering love on yourself and we’re going to show you exactly how to do it.

Let’s get started…

Treat Yourself! – From classes to college applications to the parentals, you barely have time exhale.  We get it.  Being a student is exhausting…seriously. Sooo it’s time to schedule some well needed  ‘me-time’ this semester. We’re not encouraging you to blow your entire allowance BUT we are saying treat yourself to something you love. A cute top, an eye catching nail polish, or just time away from everybody without feeling guilty! It’s your world and you deserve a prize every now and then!

Playlist Party! Feeling yourself? Well, make a playlist that shows it! Create a playlist with all the songs that makes you feel like Beyonce, Michelle Obama + Naomi Campbell all in one. Crank up the volume, lock the door and have your own personal music video in your room. Yes, you’re the star of this party so you have to kill each move.

Dress to Impress- Here at C.O.R.E Mag we’re HUGE believers that it’s all about your beauty shining from the inside out! So if you don’t have a beautiful or kind soul you’ll never a have true outer beauty. Now, since that’s clear….it’s time to dress up how beautiful your personality is to the world. Have fun with your style + appreciate your creativity + beauty!  One quote will wrap this whole idea up—–> “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak’ . -Rachel Zoe

Give IT away- Ok, so this post is all about showing yourself some love but the best way to receive love is when you give it away! Yes, what you put out in the universe is what you get back in return. So share your appreciation to your besties and fam members! It’s the start button to feeling  the love.

Pucker  Up + Say It! –  You are the first person to hear your own words. That’s deep, right? Ok, so we’ve just dropped a little knowledge your way it’s time to head to the mirror, pucker up (we know you’ve perfected this with all your kissy face selfies for Instagram)  + say I LOVE YOU to yourself! Ok, now do it again, again, again and every morning that you wake up! Love every inch of yourself + let it shine bright! *KISSES*

SENDING YOU BEAUTIES TONS OF LOVE YOUR WAY!

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How to A.C.T. When Your BFF Throws Shade!

We’ve all been there. Your BFF starts throwing shade at you for no apparent reason. You try to ask her what’s wrong, but she just replies with a nonchalant, “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Okay, whatever,” you say. You hate when she acts like this. Everything is cool between the two of you until she comes around. You know . . . the Beyonce- wannabe whose hair extensions should have been redone two weeks ago. She actually thinks that messy bun she’s put them in hides the tracks that are as fake as she is. They’re obviously trying to detach themselves from her over-inflated head.

You roll your eyes. Your best friend didn’t even like her last year. You reminisce on how the two of you used to clown on her and have your 13 year-old brother send her text messages, pretending to be Mr. All-Star Football player—the one she’s been eyeing all year long. The three of you would die laughing reading her “sext message”replies.

But things are different now. She somehow worked her witch-like magic on your friend and now they’re hanging out all the time. But you don’t care. Even if she would’ve invited you to her sweet 16 party, you wouldn’t have gone. Nope, not a chance. It didn’t matter that they guy you’ve been crushing on since freshman year was there . . . and word on the street is he just broke up with his girlfriend. It wouldn’t have mattered that his cute, heartbroken face would’ve been inches from yours when you pulled him on the dance floor. None of that would’ve mattered,because you wouldn’t have gone to that stupid party anyway!

Sound familiar?

So what do I do, Dana, when my friends act shady?

I’m so glad you asked! I say you ACT. And ACT now.

A- Acknowledge your feelings. Be honest with yourself first. How are you really feeling? Are you maybe just a wee bit jealous of the other girl? Why? Would you secretly want to be her friend if she would only acknowledge you? Are you afraid of losing your best friend to her? You’re going to have to be real with yourself and take note of what’s really going on with you. There’s no shame in the truth. Once you acknowledge how you dana chefeel, it’s time to . . .

C- Confront your friend. The important thing to remember is you’re not trying to back her into a corner. Think about it. When a person feels under attack, they usually strike back. Your goal is to share your feelings with your friend and let her know how her behavior is making you feel. It’s not the absence of conflict that makes a relationship strong, but in how you handle the conflict. If your friendship is legit and your friend really cares about you, she will appreciate you being honest with her, even if she seems hurt in the beginning. Remember, you’re telling her how you feel . . . you’re not attacking her character.

T- Trust. Oooh, I know this is a touchy word, and to be honest once trust is broken, it’s sometimes easier just to walk away than to try to rebuild. But this is your best friend. Once you’ve had a heart-to-heart with her and she’s acknowledged your feelings (hopefully), it’s to time bury the hatchet. Don’t bring it up again and don’t expect the worse. Don’t sell out either. You know what I mean . . . being fake around the other chick to try to appease your friend. If the other girl isn’t your cup of latte, don’t force a friendship. But if you do happen to become friends with her, please find a tactful way to educate her on proper weave touchups!

-Dana Che

Dana Che is an inspirational speaker and the author of The Choice That Changed Her Life, a young adult fiction book on one girl’s journey through an emotionally abusive relationship and teenage pregnancy. When she’s not inspiring or empowering others, she can be found catching up on her favorite TV shows on her DVR or hanging with her hubby Shaun and their four amazingly wonderful children.

Learn more about Dana at http://danache.com and connect with her up on your favorite social network.

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Let’s Talk About Sex…

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Relationships, Latest | by — April 7, 2014

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Hey ladies!

Sex. Yes, the word that peeks your curiosity while also being the same word your parents don’t want you to find about. Check out what Tiffany has to say about taking that next step and how it can affect you…

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Better Than That!

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Relationships, Latest | by — March 24, 2014

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Sometimes the truth is that you’re just better. People may not like to hear it, but the truth can hurt. If you encounter people who are petty, vindictive, liars, or any other negative thing that you’re not about and they try to pull you in, it’s okay to tell them that what they’re doing is no good and that you’re above all of that.

TV-300x225This is a fairly new way of thinking for me. I’m not the type to feel like I’m worth more than another person, but I had to realize that when I say I’m better, I’m not referring to our worth as individuals. I’m  talking about behaviors that I just can’t get with. It was hard for me to feel comfortable calling someone  out on some mess and letting them know that I’m not about it. At first I felt like I was being mean and maybe I should just let it go and let them do their own thing. I could have continued to go that route, but it wouldn’t have done anyone any good. They would still be doing some mess, and I would have

I’m not saying you need to go around calling out everyone on everything, but I am saying that it’s okay to check those that you care about from time to time. You wouldn’t let your friend go out of the house looking busted….hair a mess, clothes not matching… but you’re okay letting them play themselves when it comes to their character? I’d rather have a friend who’s consistently a good person that may not dress so well than one whose outfits were flawless but I couldn’t trust.talking about behaviors that I just can’t get with. It was hard for me to feel comfortable calling someone out on some mess and letting them know that I’m not about it. At first I felt like I was being mean and maybe I should just let it go and let them do their own thing. I could have continued to go that route, but it wouldn’t have done anyone any good. They would still be doing some mess, and I would have been annoyed by it. That’s a lose-lose.

Moral of the story: Check your friends, and not just about their fashion choices. If they’re lying, check em. If they’re being selfish, check em. If they’re playing themselves just to be accepted by other people,check em. It has been my experience that they’ll appreciate it in the long run. One last thing: If you’re running around calling people out, be prepared to be called out yourself. Don’t be one of those people can dish it but can’t take it. You’re better than that.

 

-Tiffany Vicks

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Gamble Your Rep?

This morning I was listening to The Breakfast Club and they posed the question: is once a ho always a ho a true statement? They took calls on the topic and it sounded like the audience was pretty split on the issue. I am, too. I’m not TVtorn due to not knowing if someone can change their behavior, but more so because I don’t know if a person can change their reputation. So my answer depends a lot on if we’re just talking about a reputation or a person’s actions.

If this is purely about actions then I absolutely believe that a person can change. People do it all the time. Anyone can have an epiphany that leads them down a different path.

The problem is that just because you have new actions you may not get a new reputation to match- at least not right away. People are very critical of one another, and they won’t easily forget any indiscretions. Sometimes they will hold onto them and bring them up months or even years later. So even if the girl’s actions are no longer ho-ish she may have an extremely hard time changing her reputation.

The good thing is that as we adopt better habits and stick to them, people will begin to associate those things with us. So even if you don’t have a brand new rep you can at least update the old one with some good characteristics.

The moral of the story? Try not to do things that you aren’t proud of because they have a tendency to follow you. Whenever I hear people bring up things that I’ve done that embarrass me, I think of it as something that I probably shouldn’t have done. The flip side to this is also remembering not to put too much stock in what people think of you or say about you because some of them will find fault in anything that you do. Once a ho, always a ho? Maybe, maybe not. But don’t gamble with your reputation for the sake of finding out.

-Tiffany Vicks

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C.O.R.E Chat!

Boys, guy, boos… no matter how you label them we still have questions about relationships! Check out what Eden & I had to say about her current boy situation!

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Get Your Mind Right!

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Relationships, Latest | by — December 16, 2013

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You know how they say life and death are in the power of the tongue? Meaning the things that you say can largely affect the outcome of a situation. That’s a true statement, but I am inclined to believe that it doesn’t go far enough. Failure and success are determined largely by our thoughts. The words don’t even have to make it out of our mouths.

People who tell themselves negative things will often get negative results. It’s hard enough to overcome the negative thoughts and actions of others, so having to overcome negativity in your own mind can make a difficult obstacle seem insurmountable. There’s no need to put that extra pressure on yourself.TV

We all come from different situations. Some of us may have better support systems than others, but we all have the capacity to create success no matter how many people we have cheering us on. Cheerleaders are great, but it’s the players who win the game. In your life you’re the one who decides whether you’re a winner or loser. That’s something you make up in your own mind, so you’d better get your mind right.

Wining about how hard it is, procrastinating, selling yourself short, internalizing the negativity of others– ain’t nobody got time for that! If you want to accomplish something, just make your mind up and do it. It’s that simple. So, if you’re struggling with something, something that you really want to do and know that you can do, stop it. Stop struggling. Stop complaining. Stop procrastinating. Stop sabotaging your success. Take a minute to get your mind right. Then just go handle your business.

-Tiffany Vicks

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