“I wasn’t a cheerleader or the prom queen. I don’t move through the world with a mirror in front of my face, and I’ve never been attracted to projects that had an emphasis on what I look like.” -Michael Michele
“I choose to be more prepared than I’m expected to be.” – Michael Michele
“I’m going to be who I am. And if you find it offensive, if you find it to be too tough, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.” -Michael Michele
“My mother used to say, If other people have a problem with you, that’s their problem. It’s not your problem. I still have that philosophy today.” -Michael Michele
I know you often hear, “You can make a difference. You have a voice. You can change the world”. I’m sure you have heard this in speeches, at school, on television. You have probably heard it so much, that you tune it out when it is being said to you. Parents, speakers, politicians, and clergy say these remarks to address bullying or violence. You don’t believe them. Nobody really expects you to make a difference. They expect you to keep texting, listening to gangsta rap, playing games, bullying and fighting. On one hand, politicians are saying you are the future and how bright it can be. On the other hand, they are putting together future programs for your incarceration instead of scholarships for your college education. Local politicians love to start off speeches with talk of empowerment and finish up with how we need housing and jobs for you upon your release from prison. Well guess what? You are going to college. You are going to start working on your community services that you must have when filling out college applications. Making a difference is not going to be just a phrase you have heard over and over again. So many of you have the desire to help. It’s the not knowing how or where to begin have you doing, well, nothing. I’m going to help you get started. No more excuses. For everyone that feels insignificant, like you don’t have anything to offer, nothing could be further from the truth. The world is so messed up that it needs all the help it can get.
When meeting with children my age, I also tell them to use their voice, you can make a difference, become empowered, change the world. Just like Ms Oprah Winfrey, I really believe that you can. People listen to a young person making a speech or pay special attention to a child taking action. I was recently at an event where the discussion was civil rights. Among the guests was a teenager that stood up and asked how he could make a difference regarding racism. Kerry Kennedy (daughter of assassinated attorney general Robert Kennedy) told him that whenever someone makes a sexist or racist joke and we do not laugh or comment, we are making a difference. I never considered that no action is sometimes a large reaction. Not participating in conversatons or discussions that stereotype or mock people is a great example of passive resistance. Passive resistance is refusing to comply. Recently, I saw a great video about a young boy named Ron McNair who used passive resistance to make a huge difference. When Ron was 9 years old, he went to the whites only library to check out some books. When the librarian threaten to call the cops he patiently waited for them to arrive. All he wanted was to check out some books.
Watch the short video to find out what happened. Ron McNair grew up and became an astronaut. He did not place limitations on his life. He knew he was destined to make change. Unfortunately Mr McNair died in the space shuttle Challenger explosion in 1986. I was in awe when my mom told me she had met Mr McNair and was friends with his father. I want young people to be like Mr McNair and have no limitations when it comes to greatness.
Although I hear a lot of activists and speakers tell young people they can make a difference, they rarely tell them how to go about it. Young people are visual. You can’t just say, “change is possible”. You have to show them the vision. My blog this month is to guide you step by step in how to make a difference . Step one is to find out what you are interested in. Here is a list of issues to help you get started. Human rights, modern day slavery, animal rights, anti violence movement, environmental conditions including global warming, civil rights, homelessness and affordable housing, saving the post offices, mental health, bullying, voter suppression laws, prison reform, gay rights, religious freedom, clean water supply, feeding the hungry, urban gardening, obesity, cancer or health awareness, rap lyrics, teenage smoking, teen pregnancy, teenage drinking and education are all causes worth fighting for or bring awareness to. Education is so vast that it can be broken down into curriculum, lunch menu, supplies, lack of art and music, and school safety. Which cause captures your interest? Recognizing where you passion lies is the biggest leap into activism.
Step two is to find people or organizations that shares your passion and interest in your cause.
Information is just a google away. Don’t have a computer. Go to the library. Don’t find an excuse to stop you from doing what you want to do. Finding an excuse is giving in to your fear. There are organizations specializing in your cause that are ready to welcome you with open arms. When I think of civil rights reforms, National Action Network and NAACP comes to mind. If you know your civil rights history you know the NAACP has been in the forefront for racial equality for a long time. The great civil rights lawyer Thurgood Marshall was a NAACP attorney. It must feel good to be a part of a historical organization that is still in the fight for racial equality. It is also a shame that after hundreds of years we still have to fight for racial equality. I belong to a civil rights organization, Rev Sharpton’s National Action Network. The National Action Network has over 47 chapters across the United States. Although I’m no longer one of the youth directors, I’m still a very dedicated member of the organization. I have been attending Rev Al Sharpton’s NYC NAN chapter since birth. Rev Sharpton is a huge supporter of youth activism. He is so different with young people than with adults. He has patient with children. He tells young people they can make a difference and gives them the platform to do so. He gives you the room to grow, make mistakes, learn and keep on going. Not many national leaders would give a 12 year old a weekly spot on a national broadcast, but Rev Sharpton gave me that huge platform. For that I’m very grateful. Whenever I need a boost to my activist spirit, I go hear Rev Sharpton speak in person. He never fails in making me feel like my voice matters. Last year he aided me in telling the world that we needed to save our post offices. All the NAN members rallied behind me, went to APWU office in Washington, and marched in the 1st National Save Our Post Offices Day. The work we did to save the post offices received national attention and helped delay some scheduled closings. Rev Sharpton attends new member orientation and you can tell him in person what you want to do to make the world a better place. Go to nationalactionnetwork.net and find a chapter near you or click on their Youth Move link. I’m just giving you some suggestions. There are many organizations for many causes. Turn on your search engines.
Once you have found an organization that supports your cause, attend meetings to see if you are comfortable and that it is a good fit. If the first organization doesn’t feel right, don’t get discouraged. Keep searching until you find the right one. It is just like church. Some puts you to sleep, and others can make you do the holy dance. You know you have found the right organization when you can’t wait to get started and ideas are just exploding inside you. The right organization will ignite your passion for your cause to a new level. If you can’t find an organization, start your own group. Ask your guidance counselor or principal for help. Pass around a flier at school stating your cause and find out how many other students share your interest. Finding a place to hold meetings can be a pain and a deterrent. Don’t give into that. Ask the principal if you can meet after school. Ask your church for space for your meetings. Write to your local politician and explain you have a civics group that needs space for meetings. Adults supports young activists. They will help you. If you don’t have a cause consider helping a charity. St Jude is my favorite. I recently held a bake sale at school for St Jude. Now when I see St Jude commercials, I don’t feel as guilty knowing I’m doing what I can to help sick but very brave children. Charities like Operation Smile, Make A Wish, St Jude and so many others are grateful for any help they can get. Everybody is significant. A lot of organizations and charities are short staffed. They love when you volunteer your time. Volunteering could lead to an internship or a paid job after college.
Step three is to get busy. Here are some tips. Use social media to spread awareness about your cause. Friend and follow people on facebook and twitter that share your cause or interest. Attend discussions and panels where your cause is the topic. Research your cause and memorize key facts. Write letters to your politicians about your cause. Hold a rally or protest to let others know you are serious about your cause. Start a petition to initiate change and spread awareness. Some popular petition sites are change.org, thepetitionsite.com, and signon.org. I along with the organization, Fairgirls.org, used social media to petition Village Voice Media to stop it’s on line sex ads that leads to 70% of child trafficking. It was an effective tool in making people aware of what this company was involved in. After doing a public service announcement against child sex trafficking, I left my position at NAN as regional director of Youth Move to become a full time advocate against child sex trafficking and human slavery. If you decide you want to fight the 2nd largest crime in the world today, visit the websites of Fairgirls.org, Polaris Project or UNICEF.
Maybe you want to start small and be in familiar territory. Check out the businesses in your neighborhood. Find a business owner that gives back to the community and volunteer your time. One of my favorite people in the world is Dennis Mitchel. He is owner of Denny Moe’s barbershop in Harlem. He is always giving back to the community and create ways for his staff and customers to also contribute. It was at his shop that a man told me he would have made different choices had he heard me speak earlier in his life. I was 10 when Mr Mitchell let me use his shop to speak out on fatherlessness. Having mentors that support and encourage you is important. My mom is responsible for making me aware of social conditions. She always take me to town hall meetings, panels, discussions, screenings and conventions. Mom feels it is a parent’s responsibility to make their children socially conscious. The first time I encountered racism was from a cab driver. Although I was only around 9 years old, I testified against the driver. That made a difference. After a $600 fine and 3 points on his license the cab driver will think twice before passing over another person of color
Sometimes you can become so angry, disgusted, livid and just outraged about a condition or cause that it is important to calm down before you do something you will regret. On February 13, a documentary called Hood of Suspicion by great film maker and civil rights advocate, Mr Keith Beauchamp, aired on the Investigation Discovery channel. Mr Beauchamp makes a difference every week with his show, The Injustice Files. He brings light to unsolved murders that are racially motivated. When Mr Beauchamp was 10 years old he read about Emmett Till. Emmett was a 14 year old boy that was brutally murdered for whistling at a white woman. Reading about Emmett Till drove Mr Beauchamp into action. He read and researched everything about Emmett Till, did a documentary, and was credited for the FBI reopening the Till murder. Mr Beauchamp is also one of the nicest people I have ever met. Watching Mr Beauchamp’s Injustice Files is what made me want to be an investigative reporter. Straight up, Mr Keith is one of my heroes. Getting back to the point I was going to make. Mom and I watched Hood of Suspicion together. She was so mad by the time it was finished that she was foaming at the mouth. The fire started coming out of her ears like Veronica in the Archie comics. She puts fresh batteries in the bullhorns, threw on a dashiki, slapped on an Afro wig and presto, Angela Davis had appeared. She gets so animated and passionate about a cause that she skips strategic planning and wants to attack. One of the benefits of being in an organization is learning about strategic planning to address social conditions. Organizations can help you map a course of action. Being angry helps you get moving. Being smart helps you get your mission accomplished. Don’t let angry or passion take focus off what needs to be done. Sometimes that is a lot easier said than done. When I talk to survivors of sex trafficking or read about infants being sexually assaulted, I want to physically do a certain act to every single male that have hurt these children. I can’t, so I have to find another way to channel that angry energy. Sometimes that means talking to my therapist or going to practice karate. Going over the edge is not going to help my mission.
Don’t feel as if you have nothing to contribute to society. I hope I have given you enough tips to pick up a cause. If you can’t find an organization or still don’t know how to get started, please contact me. Maybe you would like to help me save our post offices. On April 6th, I will be having the 2nd National Save Our Post Offices Day. The United Postal Service is drastically shutting down post offices, processing centers and 1st class mail deliveries on Saturdays. On April 6th, gather a group of supporters and demand that cuts in postal services stop. I will help you make your town’s National Save Our Post Offices Day a success.
I’m asking you to help me make this a world a better place to live. Aspiring artist, Young Dapper, is so intent on making a difference he created a video for change called, We Make The World. We owe it to the next generation to make it better like the previous generation made it better for us. Let me know what you are doing to make that happen. You can contact me on Facebook and Twitter. See you in March.
“Ugh, what do I wear today?? My hair is not doing what its supposed to do! Are these jeans getting tighter?? Am I gaining weight! Gross, I feel soooo ugly!” are the thoughts you mumble to yourself before you head out the door in the morning. You finally make it to school but paying attention to Mrs. Williams 1st period Health Class is the last thing on the mind. Even though you do not want to look “vain” you feel you have no choice but to pull out your compact from your bag and keep asking for a hall pass to give yourself another look over before you even think about opening a book. All day you go back and forth thinking about how you look, looking from side to side admiring everybody’s characteristics except your own. Now to make things worse, your secret crush just walked by as you try to turn your head quickly in the other direction since you already assumed in your head he will never look your way. You finally make it home throw your half read books on your bead and ask yourself “Am I Pretty??”
Of course you are! Now I know you’re saying yes that’s what I’m suppose to write but it’s TRUE! Now, it’s just your job to believe me and yourself. Three ways to get there
Say Something?– “Sticks & stones may hurt my bones but words stick in your mind forever.” Yes, that was my remix of that saying. We definitely do not give words enough credit. Especially what we tell ourselves over and over about ourselves. Even though you might not understand the damage of a short comment of “Ugh, I feel soo ugly today” but you just determined your mood the entire day. Even if you may not feel like it the next time you’re in the mirror tell yourself “I am gorgeous with our without make up. I’m just too fly to be stressed!” Trust me once you plant a new seed you’ll see a difference.
Look to Your Left– Left, right but never center are where your eyes go. You constantly compare yourself to other girls around you, secretly wishing you had their characteristics. Well that stops now. It’s normal to but just make sure to appreciate and love your own beauty just as much as you appreciates the girl next to you.
Discover, Define, Do– Yes just like a 3 step program Discover, Define & Do! First you have to discover your OWN beauty. Beauty is not one right answer. It comes in all shapes & sizes so you first must embrace your own beauty! Once you find out the traits that make you stand apart of the crowd,define it and play it up! If you have killer cheek bones or a great smile rock it hard and make it your own. The last part is to simply do you! Be comfortable and do you.
Beauty ultimately is just inner confidence shining through on the outside, so once you understand that you are simply priceless your beauty will have no choice other than to beam across to everyone!
Youth Spokeswomen Jazmin & Maiyah with Congresswoman Donna Edwards for the 4th District of Maryland
Inspire, motivate & encourage are just a few ways The Matriarch Inc. empowers girls every single day! The Matriarch helps young ladies in the foster care system find peace in knowing they’re not alone in the various trials they face. This influential organization serves as a sisterhood for girls ranging from ages 10 to 18, as well as a resource for community outreach, education and advocacy.
Orginally created by Tiffanie McNeill, she launched this program to fill a void in her community & to reclaim the young ladies of the Washington, DC Metropolitan Area. These amazing women are also committed to the community at-large, and plans to sponsor events, seminars and classes that bring awareness to important t issues and serve to improve the quality of life for families in the Washington, DC area.
Let’s get to know The Matriarch Inc. a little better…
The Matriarch, Inc. is an awesome nonprofit that caters and motivates young ladies from a variety of backgrounds. What inspired you to launch this inspirational program?
The idea for The Matriarch started several years ago. It began to take shape when our Founder, Tiffanie McNeill began working with foster care children, as well as coaching a youth cheerleading squad in Washington, DC. She saw an intense need through these venues, and through regular interactions with family and friends. So many girls seemed to be following a dangerous and destructive path with no positive guidance. Tiffanie wanted to impact this problem directly by working with girls on the issues of self-esteem, self-image, developing a positive vision, and nurturing a positive lifestyle that makes the best out of their gifts and talents. Having seen the same issues in girls in foster care and girls in biological homes, she saw a way to not only impact girls’ lives, but to bridge a gap between girls who may feel a divide based upon their home status. Tiffanie has such a strong passion for mentoring and counseling, she will be beginning her Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling this year.
What are some of the activities that The Matriarch, Inc. has done in the past and any future events?
The major program of The Matriarch is the B-Fly Society (BFS). The BFS is a youth sorority for girls aged 10-18, that will assist the young ladies in developing the tools and strategies needed to become positive and productive young women who will, in turn, positively impact their communities through giving back what was given to them. The BFS takes on a sorority format to facilitate developing the bonds of positive sisterhood, which is something that is sorely lacking in today’s society, with such media influences as The Real Housewives of ATL and other shows that portray women as catty, selfish and combative. With many of the Board members having experience in collegiate sororities, they bring a unique perspective and insight into the ups and downs of sisterhood and can give a total view of sorority life and forming lifelong bonds between women. The Pieces of Me Induction Program is an 8-week course of sessions designed to give the girls a jumpstart to their new lives as sisters bonded in love and community. At the end of the eight weeks, the girls will begin working to impact their communities and schools though attending and hosting events throughout the area.
As a part of the BFS experience, we will be hosting an annual B-Fly Society Launch Party & Anniversary Explosion. This event will serve as the girls’ coming out show, where they will perform and present themselves to the community as a united force in sisterhood. This event will occur every summer and will feature performances by each line of the BFS that has been inducted during the previous 12 months. There will be guest speakers and performers to make this event an annual favorite among the youth in the Washington, DC Metropolitan Area!
The Matriarch, Inc. representing at the Maryland Resource Parent Association Conference.
If you had to give 3 pieces of advice to young ladies out there who are struggling to be comfortable in their skin – what would it be?
No matter your color, size, shape or family background, you are made in God’s image, and God doesn’t make any junk!
Everyone has a unique purpose in this world. Each of us must find that purpose and live in it.
NEVER be afraid to ask for help with anything you’re struggling with. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a parent, reach out to another relative, a teacher, counselor or someone. You are never alone, and there are people out here who genuinely want to help with whatever you need.
When working with young girls, both parties learn from each other. What’s one thing you have learned from working with teenage girls?
Often times we criticize “women” for not knowing how to get along and to work together as a team. Now that I am actively working with teens I realize that this cycle starts early and many of the women learned to be the way that they are when they were little girls. They were never equipped with the tools to deal with their own personal issues instead they learned negative behavior and never outgrew it.
We tend to pull characteristics from others in our lives or from people we admire, who inspires you and why?
My late grandmother, Norris A. Brown inspired me to be the person I have become. When I was a little girl I would go to my room and pretend to be her. She could command an audience, had great speaking abilities, was known to be a powerful woman but was compassionate at all the right moments. As long as I continue to strive to be JUST like her I will be focused for the rest of my life! I recall her ordering food for the homeless man that everyone else walked by and attending the prom with the boy that everyone teased. These experiences have grounded me and made me pay attention to those that are often ignored. I also love all that Oprah Winfrey stands for but I am thankful for the time I had with a person that I could actually bond with on a personal level. My grandmother was the matriarch of my family and that’s where the name of the organization originated from.
We’re all about EMPOWERMENT at C.O.R.E. Mag, what does empowerment mean to you?
Empowerment means providing someone or a group with the necessary skills, tools and strategies to identify, execute and maintain their goals for their lives. True empowerment occurs when mentees become self-sufficient and can then turn to empower those coming up after them. Empowerment shouldn’t be a crutch, but a nudging in the right direction, with supports along the way.
Where do you see The Matriarch, Inc. in 5 years?
The Matriarch has taken off and surpassed all of the goals set for its first year so we are reaching for the stars. In 5 years we plan to be a household name with a variety of programs to offer young ladies. We are currently working on partnering with other organizations of like mind to provide a well rounded program for the young ladies. The ultimate goal is to obtain our very own location where we can offer mentoring at various levels.
Fun Faves! Song? Food? Artist? Food—The Matriarch Board loves to eat! And we’re not picky! We recently hosted a brunch for volunteers which featured two kinds of quiche, chicken wingettes, biscuits, fruit salad, grits, bacon, homefries, and strawberry cake. We are introducing the young ladies to new foods as well. We are all about trying new things.
Song—The song we use in our website opening is Pieces of Me by Ledisi. This song embodies the fact that we are each different in our own way and these differences make us special. We also love the song Ma-Ki-Da-Da which was featured in the Color Purple Movie which means little sister. The young ladies will learn a similar version of this song during the 8 week session.
Artist—We all like a variety of different music, so to list all of them would take a couple pages! We support all positive music. Many of the young ladies like Willow Smith, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Cee-Lo. If the artist has a catchy beat with a positive attitude we will listen to it!
I have a two year old nephew who is one of the cutest and sweetest little boys you ever want to meet. All of that cuteness is masking a serious character flaw. He is stingy. He’s the type of kid that will play with a toy, put it down to play with another toy that he likes more, but will forget all about the better toy if he sees someone start to play with the first toy that HE WALKED AWAY FROM. He runs over and snatches it away from whoever has it, but then he just stands there like he doesn’t know what to do. That’s probably because now that he has it he realized that he didn’t really want it in the first place. So he goes to look for the toy that he really wanted, but it’s gone. I don’t get it. He had the opportunity to move on to bigger and better things – actually had them in his grasp – but he missed out on them because he was too concerned with what was in his past. He’s two, so he’s got some time to get himself together, but what about the 22, 32, or 42 year olds who do the same thing?
My nephew does this because he’s stingy and doesn’t want anyone else playing with his toys. I believe older people do this for a lot of different reasons. The two that I encounter most often are fear and laziness. I have been in a lot of situations where I have hoped for something better. Sometimes it was something as simple wanting new clothes or shoes. Other times, I’ve prayed for a different job, or some other opportunity that I felt would move me up to the next level in my life. Here’s the thing, though. Every time I have been blessed to receive something that I asked for to upgrade my life, it required more of me. I buy new clothes, shoes, or some big ticket item; I have to put in work to pay for it. I get a promotion, it comes with more responsibility. I get a great new job that pays more; I have to move.
Sometimes, I get what I ask for, but I’m so intimidated by what it requires of me that I consider putting it down and running back to what I left behind. My most recent example of this was a bout with laziness, not fear. I love music, especially hip hop. For a very long time, I have wanted to learn how to DJ. Not long ago, the opportunity to learn just fell into my lap. I was so excited about it the first few weeks, but it started getting a little rough to work a full day then go spend another 4 or more hours at DJ training. I was thinking about not going one day a few weeks ago, but it hit me that this was something that I asked for. It’s an opportunity to move things in a different direction… to step up to the next level. Who do I think I am to ask for something then turn it down or squander the opportunity when I actually get it? I had to check myself. Since then, I’ve been making it to every class and really enjoying them. A few hours ago, I was on the phone with a friend. She was saying that she wants another job, a better job, but is a little afraid to leave the company where she’s comfortable, even though she doesn’t like her current position. If she let’s fear keep her stagnant, who knows what she’ll be missing out on.
The Bible says that to whom much is given, much is required. Sometimes in order to reap the benefits of the things that we asked for and were fortunate enough to receive, we have to give more of ourselves. Don’t let excuses fueled by fear and laziness keep you from the greatness that you’re meant to achieve.
We are SUPER excited that our Spring Session for C.O.R.E On-Site is kicking off today! We’re giving a warm welcome & a big Thank You to all of our wonderful volunteers & girls at LEAD Academy! Since the first session is talking about “Creating Your Fly” we wanted to show you what our C.O.R.E collage looks like too!
