Nobody Needs Nobody


Health/Beauty, Latest | by — January 14, 2014

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Often times we go through life and think being healthy is all about eating the right things and having enough exercise. However, there is so much more to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The things, people, and relationships we allow in our lives affect our health and overall well being. Sometimes your parents might complain about your friends and how they really wish you wouldn’t hang out with this person or the other; and that is because they realize how the company you keep affects your life.

When I was just a baby, I was introduced to my cousins and told they would be some of my best friends. Twenty-six years later, we are all still going strong. Every one of us is managing our own life and maintaining positive vibes and lifestyles. While I love my cousins, there came a time(s) in my life when I was forced find other friends and make judgment calls as to whether or not those (new) friends were positive influences.Heidi

As a rebellious, know-it-all teenager I made friends based on social status and popularity. I did not care if these friendships were detrimental to my well-being, what concerned me the most was if my new friends smoked cigarettes, could weasel up some liquor, or knew anyone who could put us in contact with the weed man. My priorities were not focused on whether or not my new friends would encourage me to be a better person or offer a shoulder to lean on during difficult times. As a younger woman, I didn’t know that social status and access to drugs and alcohol should/did not define a friendship. As a matter of fact, if there is someone in your life and their only connection to you is parties and/or moments of intoxication, it is very likely this person is not your friend and does not generate a healthy relationship for your life.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Birds of a feather flock together.”? Well, it is so true. You can’t expect your life to be headed down a path of prosperity and joy when you surround yourself with ill accomplished, disconnected people. Part of the reason my life has generated success for me and I have been able to maintain a healthy lifestyle is because I surround myself with people and relationships that are successful and healthy. No not all of my friends have careers making six figures or run eight miles every day, but they each have a strong faith and value the importance of their own well being and success. Their positive outlooks on life trickle down into our friendships and eventually my own life. When you surround yourself with people who do not care what college they attend or if they get arrested for shoplifting, it is likely that same energy will be transferred into your life. You will then find yourself unconcerned with life’s outcomes and your brightest dreams will soon become lackluster.

When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, allowing yourself to participate in healthy friendships/relationships is just as important as daily physical activity and a healthy diet. An unhealthy relationship of any sort (friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc) will have negative effects on you and your life. You can’t expect to grow and increase if all you’ve surrounded yourself with are stagnant people. You can’t think that you’ll never become addicted to drugs if all you hang around are drug dealers and dope smokers. You can’t expect to be at the top of your class if every single one of your friends is at the bottom. Know your goals and where you want to be in life. Examine the relationships in your life with a microscope and determine which relationships are healthy and support the dreams and aspirations you have for yourself.

We, as human beings, are supposed to be connected to each other.  Knowing that we need people in our lives is easily understood, but things become most difficult when it is time for us to determine to whom we should be connected. It is only natural for you to want to follow the crowd and hang out with the “cool” kids. No one wants to feel like an outsider, especially during your teenage years. But sometimes what we fail to realize is that what is cool is not always healthy or beneficial for us. Middle and High schools are only a fragment of your life. Do not stress yourself about maintaining a relationship with the captain of the cheerleading squad because she throws the best parties- it is irrelevant. But do stress yourself about maintaining those relationships which encourage you to put your best foot forward and focus on the things that will generate positivity in your life. When your parents tell you they don’t like this person or the next it is not because they want to hurt you or make your life miserable, it is because they know that person and that relationship are not going to be of benefit to you. Listen to your mentors and parents as they try to guide you to healthy relationships. Your connections with the right people will eventually become your connections to your own success.

Start to evaluate your circle. If your friends are unreliable or don’t support you in everything you do, then those friends are not what you need. In life we outgrow people. The thought makes some nervous, but to outgrow someone is great. This means you’re making progress in your life and you are not the same person you once were. So, as you take control of your life and your relationships, seek people who are going to generate positively healthy relationships. Keep your goals and aspirations in the forefront and those who need to be in your life will come and stay.

Find an invaluable relationship, fine tune it, and hold on tight. Do not get caught up in relationships that don’t matter. Until next time ladies, stay humble, focused and always remember to generate peace, love, health and beauty!

-Heidi Thomas


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