Speak Out!

Finding Who You Are?

By: Tammy Elleyby

Did you or are you struggling to find your sexuality? Or maybe your gender, or rather your identity? Trust me, there are people all over the world that struggle just like you. Sometimes finding who you are can be difficult both as a teen and an adult.  However,  they’re people who may disagree with your personal journey of truly finding yourself because it’s against their beliefs or mindset. This can often trigger or affect the state of your mental health and self-esteem.

Discovering who you are as a teen can oftentimes have more of an impact on you  opposed to a 37- year old because of the added pressures of navigating teen life.

Now, I know you might be asking if finding your sexuality or identity can really affect you mentally? The answer is yes! It can lead you to feeling depressed like no one is there to understand you, making it harder to fit in with a group of people or trusting people to talk about how you feel. Even, simply just fitting in with society.

Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community can trigger you in a mental and emotional way.  It can make you feel less happy or depressed. Even for no reason without notice, and causing harmful actions that teens and/or adults make.

Studies show and talk about how people who join the LGTBQ+ community are more likely to do risk-taking behavior especially teenagers. Teens who either experienced trauma like verbal harassment, physical harassment, and physical assault due to  coming out or being seen as part of the LGBTQ community. Examples like this are reasons so many teens or children grow up and become adults who still suffer and still struggle with opening up to people whether they need help or not. Many can be so traumatized as a kid that they also grow up and make life-threatening choices like self-harm, alcohol/substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and suicidal behavior. This leads to so many people taking their lives over something that may or may not be prevented had if they had some help to be able to cope the right way.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

Even if it’s a struggle to open up to others you can find people to confide in and trust. Whether that may be family members, friends, or even a doctor/therapist. Some articles state that, “Being supported and safe to explore and express your sexuality can be good for your mental health. It can reduce distress, anxiety, and depression.” If a child isn’t able to be him/her/their self and have an adult to help them express who they are it can lead to shutting down, not speaking about how they truly feel, and staying closed off even through adulthood.

When adults or people with their own religious beliefs come off as being be close-minded (not all)  the focus can get lost from being supportive and loving to instead being defensive without being open to understanding the LGBTQ+ community.

As I have talked about many of the struggles of people who are apart of the LGBTQ+ community go through; there is one last topic and that topic is fitting in with society, family and friends. Also overcoming it to just love yourself for who you are and not for who you aren’t.

Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

Family rejection can be one of the hardest trials to overcome. Teens depend on their family to support them, but getting negative outcomes is what makes it hard for kids to then learn to accept themselves. Imagine having complete trust in a family member or maybe a group of friends, you decide to tell them a secret you never told anyone and once you do they turn their backs on you. They begin calling you names and making fun of you.

Because of that negative outcome, the whole after effect starts damaging to your sense of self-worth and overall mental health. Making you feel like you aren’t worth anything and seen a disappointment. The whole experience makes you begin questioning your worth.

Finding who you are whether you are apart of the LGBTQ+ community or not; can affect you mentally and also may affect how you think about yourself. It can make it hard to find that trusted someone and can change the way you feel about people who’ve judged you.  Most importantly,  it can cause lifelong effects. By not getting the support young ,  these feelings  can follow you into adulthood.

In conclusion, if you see someone struggling don’t just put out negative energy, offer a hand and be kind you never know the effect you might have on them.

~ Tammy Elleyby, teen writer