Posts tagged "Relationships"

Selfish or Self-full?

You’re pretty much amazing. The problem is that everyone around you knows this and wants a piece of you, your time and your energy this semester. So it’s times like these that we give you full on permission to be SELF-FUL! Yep, it sounds better than selfish right? See how to master protecting your time + creativity.

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Ummm NOPE! Have you heard? No is the new black. Or whatever color you want it to be. Okay, we’re going help you get  this ‘no’ thing down in four simple rules:  1.) Don’t lie. 2.) Don’t make excuses. 3.) Don’t over-explain yourself. 4.) Just simply decline. And VOILA! You just nailed the art of saying ‘NO’ to people and situations that drain you.

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Love you but love me more- Yeah spread love…when you have it to spread. Passing out your energy when you don’t have any is like  constantly cooking for others while you’re one the verge of passing out from starvation. If your glass is not full with love for yourself you don’t know how to truly love others around you.

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Your #CHEERsquad- Alright, pull out your mic and your speakers and get ready to give the biggest pep talk of your life. Oftentimes we have so much positivity to say to your friends and fam but when it comes to yourself  we run out. Remember to stay positive, be gentle with yourself and bring on all the joy coming form you.

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Love yourself!

Lost In The Mix!

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From the parentals demanding 1,000 tasks from you to your friends wanting to be their counselor to your boyfriend missing you, it’s completely easy for you to get lost in everybody’s world! Relationships are apart of our daily routine. Yes, we all have those days where we want to crawl in bed to avoid everybody for weeks (private island, anyone?). But we have to face our lives making sure we’re managing healthy connections with people without being drained or lost in the mix of everybody’s lives! Ok, enough with the mini sermon + now to the quick tips that will change your life! ——>

Space + Time for Yourself- I know your friends are like your sisters and your boyfriend is your future husband BUT sometimes you actually need a breather from everyone. A little space + quiet times allow you to unclutter others thoughts and really dig into how you feel and your outlook in life (without anybody’s opinions).

(Image - Tumblr)

(Image – Tumblr)

Everybody Is Not For Everything- Ok, have you ever been frustrated telling a friend something that they simply didn’t understand or didn’t care about? Before you write them off completely just realize you have different friends for different spaces in your life. You may have a homegirl who’s lively + fun who’s great for parties and another friend is a great listener, you see where we’re going with this? Give your friends a little space to see what their strong points are!

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Pockets of Happiness- Pause! What makes you happy? No, like really happy when no one is watching or looking.  Knowing what makes you happy will allow you to not feel drained when you deal with everybody in your life. Remember you can’t fill others glasses of happiness if yours is always empty!

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(Image- Giphy.com)

Ask + You Shall Receive-  It’s true. It can be scary to say ‘No’ to the people who you care about  because it’s a fear they may get mad or leave your life. Ok, so quiet the drama queen in your mind for a sec. and just listen. People who really love you will understand and respect your options to have time for yourself or have some ‘me’ time when you ask for a little space.

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(Image-Lipstickalley.com)

 

What’s Your Worth?

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Relationships, Latest | by — November 18, 2013

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“I am God’s idea and heaven’s dream. I am somebody of value. Therefore, I put value in my work, value in my play, value in my living, and value in my loving. I have infinite value.”

That’s something that I learned and had to recite often during my time as an engineering student at Tennessee State University. I’m not sure where it came from, but as I reflect on these words today, I have a deep appreciation for them and the fact that the dean required us to learn them. Those three sentences are so powerful because they remind us of how special and unique we are, affirm the fact that each of us are precious jewels, and challenges us to live our lives in a way that reflects our worth. That can be a tall order, but trying to conduct oneself as someone of infinite value might prevent a TV-300x225lot of the mistakes we make. It could also put us on the path to greatness a lot sooner than someone who is struggling with their self-worth.

When I think about a lot of the mistakes that I’ve made in life, quite a few of them can be traced back to making a decision not befitting someone who has infinite value. Many problems with relationships, friendships, and my career have been rooted in selling myself short. I didn’t see or acknowledge my value, so I let others treat me like something frivolous when I should have been requiring the treatment of someone who is priceless. Honestly, I can’t just put that mistreatment strictly on others; there were many occasions where I mistreated myself.

To be God’s idea means that I am of divine design, someone so special that even heaven sees my potential and has high hopes for me. My worth is beyond measure, so how dare I not work, play, live and love like someone who is priceless? And since this statement pertains to all of us, how dare you not do the same?

-Tiffany Vicks

Just Let It Go

Forgiveness is one of those things that can be very hard to accomplish. It’s very common for us to be wronged by someone and decide that we’ll let it go. We have every intention of doing so, but a lot of times we don’t know how. I’m one of those people who generally has a hard time holding a grudge. If you make me laugh, I’m pretty much on the road to being cool again, but there have been a few times that people have hurt me so deeply or pissed me off so severely that I still feel the hurt and anger of the situation as if it just happened yesterday. I know that it is cliché to tell you that forgiving someone can make you feel as good as or better than the person you’re forgiving, but I’m going to tell you anyway because it’s true.

Letting go of the hurt, anger, and resentment that you hold on to before forgiving someone is truly a burden lifted. It feels good to be TVable to see and/or think about someone who did you wrong and not get all worked up about it. When you’re able to do that, it means that the person and that situation no longer have any control over you. It means that you’re free from whatever madness to which you may have been chained and can move forward with one less thing to worry about.

Therefore, my little piece of advice this week is to just let it all go. Your friend stabbed you in the back? Don’t even trip on it. They did you a favor by showing you who they really were. Believe them, decide how to deal with them going forward and just let it go. Your boyfriend is working your last nerve? Don’t fall into the trap and start an argument. Just charge this one to the game and let it go. Teachers and parents giving you a hard time? Make sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, and just let the rest go. Don’t be confused; this isn’t about adopting a nonchalant attitude. This is about recognizing that we all are human and make mistakes and being able to allow yourself and others to make them without holding onto those mistakes forever. Just let it go!

-Tiffany Vicks

His Opinion!

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Relationships, Latest | by — October 15, 2012

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Q: “Okay, I’ve known this guy for around 18 months now, he’s like my best mate. We do everything together. He knows everything about me from the guys I’ve liked to personal family problems. It’s the same way when it comes to him he feels really comfortable telling me about what’s going on in his life. It’s weird but I realized that I’ve started to like him as more than a friend…Problem is, I’m pretty sure our relationship is friend zoned – How can I change that? I can’t just *tell* him I like him, as it’d ruin our friendship completely. Now I act super self conscious and kind of awkward.Please help!! Tips on getting out of the friend zone?? How do I not ruin the friendship? How can I tell if it’s something deeper??” Nicole,15

Answer:

It seems like you are sharing a lot of things with him, including discussing other guys. Do you think he believes he is in the friend zone, as well? You stated you are “pretty sure” you are in the friend zone. Well that sounds like an assumption and it’s not got good to assume how someone feels!

I know you probably don’t want to hear this but sometimes you got to take a chance. There is only way to get out of friend zone and that’s basically being open about how you feel. Yes, there is a chance to lose a good friendship but you must weigh the options of what you want from the relationship. Do you want to remain just friends, or do you want more?

The situation is difficult because it’s a gamble, but what do you want? You want the friend or do you want the friend in a relationship?

Of course I am not telling you what to do, I can’t do that. But I just want you to think about your feelings in regards to the situation. Can your feelings handle the current friend zone situation or not?

-Joshua Love