Posts tagged "Teen Relationship"

Take CONTROL!

As women, we are emotional creatures. Our emotions help us to be skillful nurturers, make us more intuitive, and help us to empathize with others. Being so emotional is one of the key characteristics of our femininity, but when we don’t keep our emotions in check, they can wreak havoc on our lives. Therefore, I believe that we should embrace our emotional nature while learning to control those emotions that are such an integral part of us.

Emotions are very powerful tools. They are so powerful that they are abstract things that can produce a physical reaction. Just think about it. When you experience certain emotions, your body often reacts physiologically to that feeling. When you’re sad you may cry. When you’re nervous you may sweat and have an increased heart rate. If you just think about that for a second, that’s something to marvel at. That’s why I say that emotions are such powerful tools. Consequently, living with unchecked, out of control emotions is almost like walking around with a loaded gun without the safety on – someone can get hurt!

Often, when we think of emotions and their effect on our lives, personal relationships come to mind. I plan to discuss that with you eventually, but today TVI want to take a quick minute to examine how our emotions affect our ability to grow as an individual.

I believe it’s  safe to assume that most of us have areas in our lives that could use some improvement. If you don’t think any aspect of your life needs to be enhanced, then your emotions are getting the best of you early on in the self-improvement process. Believing that we are always right is one of the pitfalls of unchecked emotions. We can get so caught up in pride or other emotions that we’re oblivious to our shortcomings. The first step to checking your emotions is getting them out of the way so that you can see where you need to make some changes.

Making personal changes is hard work because you’ve been who you are for a long time. It’s habit. It’s what’s natural, so trying to do something outside of that is just tough. When you start to walk the path of self-improvement and the road gets rough, your emotions are going to kick in and remind you how easy it would be to just stay how you are.  For me, it’s usually feeling overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task or frustration by not seeing progress as quickly as I would like that makes me feel like quitting. If we quit there, then we’re letting those emotions control us when we should be controlling them. Just like those emotions make you want to give up, there are emotions that you can call on that will motivate you to keep going. Determination, pride, accountability to yourself and others can all inspire you to push forward.

In order to be the best version of ourselves, we have to exercise control and balance in every arena. Our emotions are no different. As powerful as emotions are, they are also very fluid. The smallest thing can make them change. You can’t let something so flimsy be the thing that determines your behavior. You can’t let them control you. Exercise some discipline and learn to control them. Use them to fuel your success. Being a woman is an awesome thing, and having strong emotions can be one of the biggest perks of having two X chromosomes when you know how to make them work for you.

-Tiffany Vicks

Relationship Exfoliation

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Relationships, Latest | by — September 16, 2013

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This time last week I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic with six of my oldest and closest friends, and we had an incredible time. We drove dune buggies through the mud in the countryside, went snorkeling, and even swam with starfish. We kicked it at the resort, lit up the dance floor in the club, and gambled in the casino. For me, this was a life-changing trip. On one hand, I realized that I need to devote more time to traveling to new places and having new experiences, and on the other, I was reminded of how fortunate I am to have the friends that I do. We encourage, support, and challenge each other, and though we may have bumps in the road, I have always known that no matter what happens between us, they’ve got my back.

That trip was awesome, but it was not without its faults. The sun and the salt water wreaked havoc on my skin. There were a few times that I got out ofTV the water and felt a stinging sensation on my face. I rinsed it off with some bottled water, washed it with soap when I got to the room, and kept it moving. Yesterday, when I woke up, I noticed that my skin was peeling. My nose, my forehead….it was all bad. So I made sure to go by the store and get some facial scrub so that I can exfoliate. That way I can scrub off all of the dead skin cells to reveal new healthy ones.

I know that this stuff may seem random, but I promise I’m going to tie it together for you. There are generally two types of people in your life: those who are full of life and help you grow and those who are full of death/negativity and have you out here looking crazy. Your experiences in life are like that trip I just took. There will be times that awesome things happen that reveal who has your back and inspires you to continue to nurture those relationships. Then there will be other times that even though someone convinced you to do something and you may have had fun doing it you were doing damage to yourself and/or others. These are the people that you need to exfoliate. There will be signs that something isn’t right, similar to the stinging sensation that I felt on my face. Doing a superficial rinse may not be enough. You may need to do a serious scrub to make sure you remove them from your life. That is the only way you can make room for the healthy relationships that make you glow.

-Tiffany Vicks