“Ugh, I’m not smart enough!” “There’s no way that could ever happen to me. Things that good never come my way.” Or just the simple two words phrase “I can’t.” All phrases that we’ve all may have slipped up and said in a phase of frustration or stress. Being attacked with pressures and expectations people have for you can often make you feel like you will never be good enough to achieve your dreams. As you continue to grow and go through life you will find out a hidden piece of info that will change how you look at life forever. Hmmmm you want to know?? Ok, here it goes. But warning after you read it you are responsible for this golden nugget of knowledge. Even though people may doubt you or say negative comments about you or your future, YOU are the ONLY person that can stand in your way of achieving your dreams! Yes, I know Kanye isn’t the only one who likes to play the ‘Blame Game’ but we all do. We all love to put the blame on others of our failures. But that is not the case at all. Here are ways you can take the power back to your own hands!

Word Check!- You are the first person who hears the words leaving from your lips and into the world. Which means that it was originally a thought that transformed into words and then what?? You got it! Eventually it’s going to show through your actions. So if you say that you “can’t” do something or it’s “impossible,” you already stamped your action to go in that direction.  Your mind and words are a powerful tool that acts as compass to your life. Take control of them both before it leaves you down the wrong path. Even if you don’t feel confident about something say you are and eventually your mind will believe it!

Life is A Choice- For some reason we all like to make things seem a bit more difficult than they have to be. But life can actually quite simple at times. It’s as easy as a choice. Once you make up your mind that you WILL achieve your goal and you choose to put in the hard work to get there. There is NOTHING that can stop you, except you if you give up before the end. Everything we do is because of a choice we make. But do not fall victim to subconscious choices but with guidance take control and choose the path of life you want to go down.

Sky is The Limit- Who wants to be average?? No one daydreams 20 minutes into algebra class about being an average person. Nope, doesn’t happen! When we dream we dream BIG! And there is a reason for that. The reason is that dreams show us where we can be if we tap into all of our potential and talent and usually that it’s just the beginning stages. Never limit yourself because everyone else is okay with being average.  Shoot for the moon so if you miss you would fall in the clouds! If you do not take anything away from this spicy little article take away this…THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO LIMIT TO HOW MUCH YOU CAN ACHIEVE! Don’t only remember it but believe it!

-C.O.R.E Family

Sophomore Year. At night. Whispering in my bed on my broken Nokio cell phone. Short guy with a nice smile and southern charm. We were chatting about God knows what. All that I do remember was him buttering me up and I was loving it. Giggling and blushing in the dark, I was in a great mood.

“You are fine. I mean you are really fine to be dark skinned.”

Silence.

“Did you hear what I said?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

“Um, thank you? I have to go.”

Never talked to him again until months later in an awkward exchange amongst mutual friends.  Throughout my years living in the South, I encountered several people who made the same comment and they were met with the same amount of awe struck and dumbfounded-ness.

Let me explain myself. I grew up in a brown family. My mother is considered by mostly everyone she’s ever met to be dark brown. My father self-identifies as a dark brown man himself. Even the “light-skinned” people in my family are probably more light skinned in their minds than they actually are to the blind eye. I never grew up with a color complex or the feeling of inferiority because I was brown. I grew up primarily in a self-segregated urban city with mostly brown people. For the most part, my teachers were brown and my principals were brown. Varying shades of brown that never really ventured to the ends of the color spectrum. My father always told me I was a beautiful brown girl growing up and I always believed him. I didn’t grow up with that “100% Indian” great-grandmother with silky straight hair that turned her nose up at the sight of a child darker than a paper bag. I just wasn’t the girl who grew up with THAT as an issue.

When I arrived in the South as a young woman, I was struck by how people were constantly described by their skin tone. Their particular shade of brown. I learned very quickly that people thought they were light skinned when to me, their skin wasn’t light at all.  They were complimenting themselves, I soon learned. I learned quickly that brown skin was a nice way of saying dark skin. When someone said you weren’t “that dark” it was a compliment and you should take it. I, however grew up with a father who sang love songs to my mother’s deep mahogany skin. He sang to it. He adorned it and he would double take at any woman with a clear, Vaseline laced shiny Black skin the hue of my mother’s. I just didn’t get it. And then I found a name deeply rooted in our historical complex for it” Colorism.

Colorism can be dangerous in many ways. It can have you believe in the color hierarchy. It eventually became apart of psyche. I eventually decided that I was an exception to this obvious silent rule of black ugliness. I started to see myself on the top of the hierarchy of beauty.  But can we just have a moment of truth here? Your grandmother’s 99 year old great grandmother wasn’t Cherokee and that isn’t why your mother is light skinned.  It isn’t fair to talk about people who have fair skin either even if you feel they may have it better or easier. Many times, depending on the situation they may face just as much scrutiny, teasing, and bullying. At the end of the day, we are all  people-those in many hues.

Colorism is so old. Not only is it old and divisive but it’s completely subjective. The color is in the eye of the person looking at it. Separating people on the beauty based on skin color is innately wrong and can lead to nothing positive.

Good skin is skin that is well taken care of. Love your skin, it protects your body. Be proud of what your skin represents and how lucky and privileged you are to wear it. Don’t allow men, young or old to call you Red-Bone or TarBaby or any other hurtful, lustful names. Take pride in your self and don’t allow people to separate you from your girlfriends based on the color of your skin. You may not be able to change the world just yet, but you have the power to change a piece of it. Say no to Colorism.

-Tenicka Boyd