Q: “Ok, so I’m 16 and I can’t maintain a steady weight.I’m bigger than the rest of the girls in most of my classes. I try to workout and eat healthy but the weight isn’t going away fast enough! Every time I look in a magazine or reality show everybody has the perfect bodies which makes it hard for me. Boys always want to go after girls who look like that. It’s like I’m one big freak! Most guys won’t even look at me. Then I have friends who can get EVERY SINGLE GUY they look at, and those boys are normally the ones I have a crush on. Yup, my friends are gorgeous and I’m not!
The only thing I have going for me right now is my grades. Big whoop! I am the awkward girl who can pass everything and does math for fun. Meanwhile my older sister is perfect and been dating since 13!
Please, all I have ever wanted is a NORMAL teen life. All I want is for guys to like me. How do I get that to happen?? Will a guy ever like me?? Please Help!
Lina 16
A: You a beautiful. You are beautiful.You are beautiful. If you don’t remember anything else I say to you, know that. I once walked in your shoes, so I totally understand your feelings. As women we all have our insecurities, and we always will because we are not perfect. It all comes down to knowing yourself as a woman, and knowing your strengths and weaknesses, we will talk more about this in a bit. The precious age of 16 is apart of your journey and not the final destination. We are the co- creators of our lives. You have the power to change anything in your life that you want, to m
ake whatever changes you deem necessary.
Your body is still in its growing stages and will more than likely change a few times. Keep exercising and eating right because those are the foundation of a healthy lifestyle and body. I know that you didn’t gain the weight overnight, so realistically you wont be able to lost the weight overnight. Keep this in the front of your mind. You have to give yourself time to shed the weight, don’t be so hard on yourself and tackle it a little bit at a time. Set small realistic goals for yourself, things that you can achieve. In this doing this, you will make improvements at a gradual pace and also have self-motivation to continue on.
You also need to use your power to define beauty for yourself. Set your on standards for your life. Only define your beauty by your own standards. Know that everything you see in magazines and on reality television is very rarely the truth. Those who are in magazines put in a lot of deliberate effort to appear “glamorous” or “perfect.” They have specific people on hand who get paid to make sure they “appear” a certain way. Several hours go into one shoot, often times an entire day and then a substantial hours go into editing and retouching the photos to further enhance the images. Women are undergoing surgery to have these bodies that you see, FEW of them are actually born like that.This is not reality and you shouldn’t compare yourself, who is a REAL person to UNREALISTIC expectations. Its not fair to you and will cripple you in the long run.
Men are “special” beings. This will make more sense to you as you get older. The boys your age are also in a growing phase in their lives as well, and are coming into their own as well. This is the first time that they are seeing women in a more physical way. Physical attraction to a young lady is new territory for them as well. Know that this will not always be the case, as they continue to grow their definition of beauty will also change. Continue to strive to get good grades and acquire as much knowledge as you can, as you get older you will see that a mature man will be more attracted to your mental and that you will be on another level of attraction. The physical body goes through many changes, and it not always guaranteed to look the same way, but one thing that no one can take from you is you intellect, so in the long run you will shine the brightest, men are so attracted to a woman who stimulates them intellectually.
In the meantime, you stay the course of eating right and working out and getting good grades, all this is preparation of the young lady you will become.
-Nikia Pope
My Advice to you is to let the relationship grow at its own pace. Just because you are 16 years old and have not had your first kiss does not mean anything is wrong. The reason things are awkward between the two of you is because neither of you are comfortable with yourself, you both are most likely over thinking how to embrace one another and putting way too much pressure on yourself. Relax, be cool take your time. Make sure you are developing a strong friendship which can then turn into something more special. The more time you spend with someone and get to know them the more comfortable they will be with you. There will be no need for persuasion. In fact a little advance for all ladies, you should never have to “persuade” a man to like you or even be confident towards you. If he likes you he likes you, and if he is comfortable with himself he will be confident with you. Give your relationship time to develop and if after a while there is still no change then it might be time to move on.
