Q: I have a crush on this  really really cute guy at my school. The problem is that I never told anyone not even my best friend. So a couple of months ago my best friend and him started dating. The thing is I always thought that if he had known I liked him he would have never asked her out. Well He broke up with her a couple of weeks ago and we have been talking a lot lately. I  don’t want to hurt my friend’s feeling but I  don’t want to lose my chance with this boy I’ve been crushing on for the past year. Who knows, he may be my husband one day! What should I do???

A: First and foremost! Let’s slow down with the marriage talk. Think about the guy you dated when you were 15, can you see yourself marrying him? I think not! More than likely you’ll feel the same way about this guy when you’re twenty-one.

The first thing you should do is talk to your friend. Be open, objective, and honest. Use this conversation to find out if she still has feelings for this guy. You also need to find out why she is no longer dating him.You two are best friends for a reason. If there was something about him that she didn’t like then there’s a strong possibility that you will find the same discomfort somewhere down the road.

When you have this conversation be up-front. You might want to start the conversation off by telling your friend how much you value the friendship between the two of you. Explain to her that there is something on your mind that could possibly hurt your friendship but that is the last thing you want to happen.

From that point you should dive right in, ” how would you feel if I told you I wanted to get to know him ??? Better?” I promise you she wouldn’t be defensive but there is a chance her feelings might be a little hurt. The last thing you want to do is flaunt your relationship in front of her. Remember, it’s not WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT.
Give her time to accept the new relationship and slowly work her back around the two of you.

-Justin Townsend

It is easy to get lost in the often painted picture of fairytale love. What girl doesn’t want to be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor and live happily ever after? We’ve been told our entire lives this is how love works and it has become our expectation. However, just like in the fairytales, things or people aren’t always what they seem. Men (and women, too if we’re honest) often do a great job of hiding who they truly are and their motives in the beginning of any relationship. Is he just looking to date me because I’m cute and popular? Does he think telling me he loves me will eventually lead to us having sex? How can you determine if your guy is Prince Charming…or just a really attractive frog?

“Ask And You Shall Receive”-The easiest way to determine his true motives is to simply ask him…but the hard part is to put aside your emotions and listen. Don’t just hear what he says; listen to how he says it. Use your intuition to judge if he’s simply “running game” on you or if he seems sincere. Ask him how he would like you to be involved in his life and accept his answer. Hearing the truth can sometimes hurt but it is always beneficial. Truly understanding where the two of you stand can eliminate a lot of issues

Time to Believe- One of my favorite quotes is by the inspirational Maya Angelou: “Believe people when they tell you who they are the first time.” Women have a tendency to hear what we like to when men are speaking. We also make excuses for things that need to be addressed to avoid conflict or being alone. If a guy tells you “I really don’t do the whole relationship thing, it’s not for me. I prefer to just kick it…” don’t tell yourself “He didn’t like relationships with other girls. I’ll change that.” Believe people when they speak honestly about themselves; remember, you just met him. He knows himself better than you do.

Actions Speak LOUDER Than Words-  Most importantly, actions will ALWAYS speak louder than words. A guy that is really interested in you will not just say he is, his behavior will   agree. He calls and says he misses  you ever so often, but sometimes goes weeks without contacting you or trying to see you. He says he loves you, but is continually talking to other girls and showing them more attention. Men sometimes follow the “Tell Them What They Want to Hear” philosophy so it’s important to hold them accountable. When Prince Charming is still saying all the right things but acting more like an attractive frog, don’t be afraid to give him the boot! There are plenty of other princes just as charming and many other frogs you will encounter. Use that experience to learn and grow but remember always, you, Miss Princess, are the lead character and therefore the most important factor in your life story.

-Demi Motley