Posts in "Relationships"

Mixed Signals?

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Relationships, Latest | by — October 22, 2019

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When you’re putting time and effort into a new guy, you want to make sure it’s worth it. Guys can be the biggest culprits of mixed signals and you don’t want to be left wondering whether or not he has feelings for you. Below, we’ve listed four “red flags” to look for. It’s important to remain honest with yourself so that you can avoid wasting your time. Then, you’ll also be ready and available for someone worth it.

He never texts you first|
Initiating a conversation shouldn’t be solely up to you. When a guy wants you, he will say anything just to have your attention. You are most likely not on his mind if he isn’t reaching out to you. Kick him to the curb.

He asks for relationship advice|
Sis, if he is coming to you for relationship advice, you have to throw the whole guy away. If he’s that into you, he’s not going to give you any idea that he doesn’t know something about relationships. He wants to be seen as the ideal man and will usually go to his friends (keyword: friends) if he needs advice.

He doesn’t make an effort to see you|
Talking on the phone and texting is one way to get to know someone, but meeting up in person is even better and if he isn’t trying to do that, then you need to move on. This means that you are not a priority and he isn’t that serious about you. On to the next!

Honestly, you can just tell|
When the vibe is right with someone you can tell. The same goes for when the vibe is off. Our instincts will tell us when something is wrong, which is why you have to listen to your gut even when you don’t want to. You can also tell from body language and your interactions if he’s into you or not. And if he isn’t, just let him go.

~ Tia Banks, Content Editor

Body Type vs. Culture Hype?

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Relationships, Latest | by — August 19, 2019

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The season has arrived when everyone is doing the most trying to get their bodies right for the summer. Between keto diets, double gym sessions, and going vegan, everyone is obsessed with achieving their body goals. Goals that have been set by our favorite people on TV and Instagram models on our timeline. But what happened to just being healthy? Shouldn’t that be body goals? Here are some ways to embrace your body type and ignore the stereotypes.

You look like me

Hang out with people who also embrace their beautiful body types. They will be encouraging and encircle you with the positive energy you need to feel your best. Following body type trends isn’t their thing.

Just wear it

If there is an outfit that you are in love with, wear it! Although you might not feel like you look perfect in it, fake it ‘til you make it. Your decision to wear that bomb dress or dope crop top will give other girls the confidence to do the same. Not all superheroes wear capes.

Know the background story

Understand this – most people you see in the media who have these “ideal” body types underwent some kind of surgical procedure in order to achieve the look. Not all, but many. This means that no one is born perfect. Keep it all natural. Your 80something year old self will thank you.

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~ Tia Banks

Flirt or Scroll! Crush IRL

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Relationships, Latest | by — June 19, 2019

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“Yes! He liked my bomb selfie I just posted on the gram! I wonder if this means that he likes me too?! Well, he didn’t leave a comment so maybe we’re just friends?”

If you find yourself having conversations similar to this, keep reading to find out how he really feels about you. His actions speak louder than his words and we don’t want you to miss the message he’s trying to send you!

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Calls vs Texts|Texts are simple, easy, and convenient. They can also be sent to anyone and interpreted differently. If he takes the time to call you, answer! He likes hearing your voice and is definitely into you!

Laid back vs. Dapper|If he wears his nicest sneakers and has a fresh line up whenever he sees you, it’s a very good sign. He’s trying to impress you. Otherwise, if he comes around you looking a little too “comfortable”, you could be falling into the friend zone.

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Focus| Where is his focus when you both are together? Is he looking at his phone and doing other things while listening to you talk or is he fully engaged in your conversation without distractions? This is a major sign. We are glued to our phones constantly and if he takes the time to put the phone on mute for you, he’s a keeper!

Girl Talk vs You Talk| What are they conversations of discussion? Does he talk about other girls that he likes or is talking to? That’s a major sign of being in the friend zone. However, if his conversations are focused around you and what he likes about you, you’re golden!

~Tia Banks

Nope, Next, He Gotta Go.

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Relationships, Latest | by — April 24, 2019

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Becoming emotionally invested in a relationship can hinder your view of reality. Like they say, love is blind. The person that you think would be the most genuine could actually be hurting you emotionally. A lot of times when you want something to work so badly, you miss all the signs telling you how much of a player they actually are. We’ve all been there, so here are some major signs to look for.

He flirts with other girls

It’s one thing if he flirts with other girls, but to do it in front of you is another story. It’s his way of telling you that he has no respect for you, which means the relationship needs to be over.

 He makes you feel guilty, no apologies

Often times he wants you to do the things he wants. When you don’t comply, he makes you feel guilty about it. He offers no apologies for making you feel bad or anything he does for that matter. He’s got to go.

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You don’t hit my line no more/excuses

He’ll promise to call or text you, but time passes and before you know it he’s ghosted you all day. When you finally get a hold on him, He’s got excuse after excuse. This behavior is intolerable and it’s time to break it off.

Double standards

He can hang with the guys for a night out but you can’t hang with the girls? It’s called a double standard, which is detrimental to a relationship. It’s also something you cannot let slide because he shouldn’t be putting restrictions on your life. Time to say goodbye.

~Tia Banks, Content Editor

Prom Meltdown? It’s Handled.

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Relationships, Latest | by — March 26, 2019

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Prom is one of the most important and memorable days of your young life. It’s the moment you and your friends have been looking forward to since the first day of senior year. However, the build up to the big day can be stressful because finding the right dress, the right guy, a hairstyle that slays, etc. is a lot of work. The important thing is to start early. That way you can be well prepared and stress free. Below are four reasons it’s important to be an early bird with prom preparation.

The Dress | Finding a dress is the most important thing when it comes to the prom checklist. If you’re able to get that part done early, you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor and will save yourself from tons of stress. You’ll also have time to spare in case you need alterations.

The Guy| Securing your date early is another vital key. You want to get him before anyone else does. There’s nothing wrong with asking a guy to prom (or going with your girl squad)!

The Makeup | It’s important that you get a makeup consultation before committing to a look. Getting this done early allows you time to be able to determine your look based on your dress and whatever is trending.

The Ride| This is the most difficult thing to plan, especially when you’re coordinating with a lot of people. Starting early will give everyone plenty of time to get their plans together and pitch in their share for the limo!

~Tia Banks, Content Editor

 

GALS Day vs. BAE Day!

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Relationships, Latest | by — February 13, 2019

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It’s that one day a year that people either seriously dread or go all out for. Typically, you spend Valentine’s Day with the girls but this year is different because you have a boyfriend now. Balancing both of these important people that you care about can be difficult and confusing. You don’t want to bail on your friends that you’ve known forever, however, your boo has become a significant part of your life too. What’s a girl to do?? Luckily, we’ve put together three ways to balance both!

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Split Up Your Time| Enjoy your afternoon with your friends and spend the evening with your boo. You could even spend the day after Valentine’s Day with your crew because that’s when all the candy goes on sale!

A Token of Appreciation | If you decide to cancel on Gal-entine’s Day this year, giving your friends a small gift might not be a bad idea. They’ll definitely appreciate the thought behind it. A great + chic gift to round up for your crew are beauty sheet-masks from Leaders Cosmetics. Meshing much-needed relaxation + hydrating skin rejuvenation, your girl gang will barely notice that you’re gone! Who doesn’t love to Detox and Chill, right?

Mix and Mingle | Have a Valentine’s Day get-together for everyone. Invite your friends and your boyfriend’s single friends. There could be a match waiting to happen!

~Tia Banks, Content Editor

Boy Bye! Over your Bestie’s BF?

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You and your bestie would never be caught without the other. You’ve spent a large portion of your friendship getting into wild shenanigans while making lasting memories. All of a sudden the good times start to slow down significantly. Why? Your bestie is boo’d up! And although you’re happy for her, you cannot stand her new man! What’s a supportive best friend supposed to do?

Keep your FEELINGS out of it| Even though you tell your bestie everything, you don’t have to constantly remind her that you dislike her new bae. The only thing that should matter to you is her happiness.

Check yourself | Ask yourself why you hate your bestie’s BF. Do you not like his character, the way he treats her, or the way her relationship has affected your friendship? Take some time to do some serious reflecting.

Take advice from Frozen and “Let It Go”| Just because your bestie is in a relationship with someone you don’t like, doesn’t mean you have to let that affect your friendship. Yes, you may hang out a little less, but the time you do spend together can still be epic! Just make sure that you continue to be present in your best friend’s life (especially if she needs a shoulder to cry on when they break up).

 

-Tia Banks, Content Editor

 

Cuffin’ Envy? No BAE, No prob

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‘Tis the season to be cuffed and everyone you know is starting to get boo’d up, except you. The colder months also mean the social activities slow down and you see your friends less. Suddenly, you find yourself getting a little lonely. How are you going to make it through cuffing season uncuffed? Read on to find out!

Netflix and Chill Comfortably| It’s time to throw on your favorite pair of sweats, get in a comfy spot, and binge watch all of your favorite shows with no complaints. You can even re-watch The Office for a third time.

More Money, No Problems | The holidays are coming up and since you don’t have a significant other to buy a gift for, this means you have a little extra cash to spend. So treat yourself! That matching purse and wallet you’ve been eyeing is all yours now!

Date Yourself | Tired of being trapped in the house? Go on a date by yourself. It sounds weird, but spending time by yourself is very therapeutic. Some places you could go are the movies, out to breakfast, or even to get a massage.

Tia B., Content Editor

InstaCRUSH or InstaSTALK?

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You know how easy it is to turn into an FBI agent when you’re trying to gather info on your crush. You end up on their sister’s husband’s bestfriend’s cousin’s mother’s page. Well depending on how much information you gather and how often you search, you’re borderline cyberstalking.

Here are 3 ways to know if you have crossed the line:

Catfish– Like many perpetrators on the show, you yourself have developed a fake profile. This is so you can hide behind another identity in order to get more info on your crush without seeming crazy.

Excessive Messaging– Opposite of catfishing, you are not hiding behind a fake identity but you are sending lots of DMs. Even when he doesn’t answer, you continue to send messages in hopes of getting the response you wanted.

You search and search…and search– Not only do you search their Instagram page, but you also look for their Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, Youtube, and probably their Myspace too.

-Content Editor, Tia Banks

Friend Zone: Forget Or Forgive?

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Any relationship should be 50/50 and when you start to notice your friendship becoming strenuous, it might be because you are putting out more effort than you are receiving. Being taken advantage of by a friend isn’t worth it and here are 4 steps to take when you think it’s happening to you.

Give It A Second Look: Determine how the situation makes you feel. If the roles were reversed, would you have done the same thing to your friend like she did to you?

Benefit of The Doubt: Find out if she’s going through a tough time, which is causing her to change her behavior.

Be Assertive, Be Be Assertive: Tell her how you feel and how you think she has taken advantage of you whether it was just this one time or on multiple occasions.

Drop Her: ONLY IF NECESSARY. This is the bottom line. If what you’re saying is going in one ear, out the other, and behavior isn’t changing, it’s best for your own mental health to respectfully move on.

-Tia Banks, Content Editor