Posts in "Relationships"

Racing Against The Clock!

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Time Management…oh how I love the thought of doing it successfully. The reality is that many of us are struggling. We have so much to do but we have little time to do it.…scratch that. We have so much to do and we aren’t aware of all the time we have to do it.…That’s better. School has begun. Many of us are entering a new stage in our lives. Becoming a freshman…becoming a senior. Though we are diving head first into these new experiences, there are a few things we can keep in mind in regards to managing our time.

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Assignment written. Assignment complete! Many of us are guilty of pushing back work with the hopes of completing it at a later date. This can be problematic because realistically we find that the time spent watching YouTube or on Snapchat, could have been spent starting, and possibly completing, a paper. So I advise you to complete your assignments when given.  This leaves you with more free time later.

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Shut it off and Tune in! As briefly mentioned before, many of us are active on various social media platforms and some of us have a small addiction to it. Your ability to shut off your device and tune into your work is a challenge but I believe you can do it. When you think of time management think of discipline. Your ability to control your bad habits not only helps with time management but also in life.

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Charts. Calendars. Timers. Timing is key. Literally. If managing your time is spent complaining about lack of time, it is time to get a planner and calendar. You can track all your assignments and put them in time slots. This is where discipline is needed. Though you will not receive penalties for going over the time you’ve given yourself, the stress that will result will be punishment enough.

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Help me! Help me! This one is simple. If you spend your time looking confused at your homework-get help. Work in friend groups, get tutoring. There are many different methods one can use to get help. You are never limited in your resource when you have access to the internet. The time spent will help you greatly in the long run. The key for time management is staying focus.

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Written by teen blogger, Brynn Hutchinson

Dear Jane…

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So, you’re a teenager now or at least almost there. You’re at the moment in your life when you are discovering more of your likes and dislikes. You may be trying to come up with your own sense of fashion; trying to discover who you are, what you want to look like, how you want to be received. Well, I’m thirty-two years old. I’ve been where you are before. I’ve had self-esteem issues and so many of the feelings that all preteens and teenagers experience.

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Let me talk to you for a minute. Listen to your parents and/or your guardian. They want the best for you. I was always really close to my mother (grandmother). She was an incredible woman. She taught me so many jewels in life that I cherish and I am now able to share those same jewels with my two beautiful daughters. I want you to focus on your school work. There’s nothing wrong with having fun with your friends, but understand that there should be a balance to everything. Your parents share a lot of experiences with you because they too were your age before. They love you and want to see you blossom beautifully in life. You may think you have all the answers, but you don’t (smile). I’m sure you’re intelligent for your age, but there’s so much more in life to learn. Take your time and act your age. Be young and responsible. This is the only time in your life that you will be a preteen or teenager. After this stage-you’re an adult forever. And, that can be a wonderful time for you too, but understand that a lot of decisions you make now can shape your upcoming years to be easier or harder.

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Are you experiencing a difficult moment in your life right now? How did you get there? Take responsibility for your contribution to the issue. That’s the only way you’re going to learn from it. Whatever you’re going through will get better. It may not seem like it right now, but better days are ahead for you and you can share your experience with whomever you choose. One day someone is going to need your advice. And, never allow anyone to make you feel less that you are. Never allow anyone to hold you to yesterday. Surround yourself around ones who want the best for you and who are genuinely happy for you.
You are capable of being that outstanding person that you aspire to be. Just believe!

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Sincerely,

Jane

 

Guest blogger Jamie Jones

Hitting the SOCIAL scene!

Take a stroll on the social side! In 2017 it’s pretty impossible to not be attached to some sort of social media platform. From friends to your fave brands, it just seems that you’re always missing an update every minute of the day. But remember to create a life that you love IRL and not just online. So let’s hit the social scene!

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Reality, much? – So let’s be honest. How many takes did it take for you to get the perfect selfie? I would be surprised if it’s less than 10. No worries, that’s all of us! Even your favorite blogger and celebs (and they have a full makeup + hair crew) take multiple pics in special lighting before hitting the ‘share’ button.  So drop the comparison game of you and others on social media and love your life + who you are each day. Remember, you’re only seeing the best parts of people’s lives which is a small percentage of reality.

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Keep It Low-Key– So we admit it’s super fun to share pieces of your life BUT that doesn’t mean you have to share every aspect. Being cool + comfortable is keeping parts of your life mysterious or private. Trust us, it brings peace and less drama. So the next time you think about updating a status about your rotten ex-boyfriend. Think twice. Not everybody needs to know your business and plus he’s not worth one keystroke on your laptop, right?

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Give It A Break! – You get holiday break, summer breaks and lunch breaks during your school year, what makes you think you don’t need a social media break too? Okay, don’t completely lose your mind yet. But think about it, you’re surrounded by teachers, parents and friends every day. Don’t you just want to check out to get to your OWN thoughts together for once? Just a little breather for a couple of days can help a ton, especially when prepping for big exam or project.

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So be social but start creating an awesome life of your own in real life!

Selfish or Self-full?

You’re pretty much amazing. The problem is that everyone around you knows this and wants a piece of you, your time and your energy this semester. So it’s times like these that we give you full on permission to be SELF-FUL! Yep, it sounds better than selfish right? See how to master protecting your time + creativity.

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Ummm NOPE! Have you heard? No is the new black. Or whatever color you want it to be. Okay, we’re going help you get  this ‘no’ thing down in four simple rules:  1.) Don’t lie. 2.) Don’t make excuses. 3.) Don’t over-explain yourself. 4.) Just simply decline. And VOILA! You just nailed the art of saying ‘NO’ to people and situations that drain you.

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Love you but love me more- Yeah spread love…when you have it to spread. Passing out your energy when you don’t have any is like  constantly cooking for others while you’re one the verge of passing out from starvation. If your glass is not full with love for yourself you don’t know how to truly love others around you.

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Your #CHEERsquad- Alright, pull out your mic and your speakers and get ready to give the biggest pep talk of your life. Oftentimes we have so much positivity to say to your friends and fam but when it comes to yourself  we run out. Remember to stay positive, be gentle with yourself and bring on all the joy coming form you.

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Love yourself!

It’s Official, Now What?

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Relationships, Latest | by — May 18, 2016

It’s official. Last week you and your previous crush went from “talking” to boyfriend/girlfriend status. Being extremely excited you feel like you’re walking on a cloud because he just seems too good too be true! After news starting to buzz around school that you two that are officially an item, your excitement pretty much turns to nervousness. You’re even confused with your emotions. You’re telling yourself that these should be the happiest moments of your life because you’re officially in a relationship with a guy who you’ve been crushing on for the longest. You soon realize all your nervousness and worry is coming from the fact you feel “obligated” to act a certain way. Since you have an official title you feel like you have to either start acting different or outside your character, which is completely no true! Let’s see if we shake your nerves and remind you that being you is all you have to do…

Friends First!– Yeah, yeah, yeah I know the sacred “title” sounds nice to say. Hey you simply love the fact of replacing his name to your “boyfriend,” I completely get it. But even though you guys have new names for each other you two are still friends. A relationship is a strong friendship where you two are completely comfortable with each other you just happened to think one another are cute! Which means nothing should change if it does not feel comfortable. You don’t have to necessarily walk every hall holding hands and playing kissy face in the corner. It should definitely still be fun feel between the two. The problem becomes when people lose the fact why they even like being around each other in the first place. Crack jokes, laugh, talk and just be you!

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Keep Crowd on the Sidelines– “You guys should do…” “What do you mean you guys haven’t done” or my favorite “If I was you, I would…” Yes ALL the comments you will hear from friends that are a little nosey in your business. Even though you love your home girls, sometimes it’s best to step back and listen to your own voice. You should never feel pressured from your boyfriend or even your friends. A lot of times they aren’t secure in the advice they are giving, which would lead you in a situation you may not want to be in. When in doubt take a moment and ask yourself do you feel comfortable in a particular situation. Trust me, if you listen long enough you will hear an answer.

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It’s all About YOU- Being in a relationship is both fun and you can also learn a lot. Just remember you’re still a teen though! I’m sure your parents tell you this all the time but it is true, you have your entire life in front of you. Do not allow a relationship dominate your entire life. Once it stops becoming enjoyable and light-hearted, it’s time to exit stage left. You’ll have plenty of time to grow with someone but take advantage of young age to embrace life and all it has to offer!

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Sip Or Spill The Tea?

It’s Hot! Juicy! Ooooh you can even smell it a mile away. Hmmm let’s just call it a 6th sense. Yes! When the gossip is in the air you can pick it out a full line up! As much as you try to hold it in it just spills out of your mouth and splatters on the closest ear that‘s in listening reach. Every conversation even if you start off by talking about something productive it always ends up with the weekly “he say, she say” tidbits of the week. Your homegirl told you something in private & instead of keeping it to yourself you just tell yourself I’m only going to tell your one other good friend and that’s it! You can insert a side eye look right about now because we knows what happens next…yes just a messy game of high school telephone where the message somehow gets chopped and screwed.

Even though you might tell yourself just being the carrier of “factual” information is harmless it often does more harm than good…

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Watch What You Say– Yes people love you! They simply can’t get enough of your bubbly personality, your trendy clothing but you are the school’s verbal social blogger. You always seem to have the newest gossip before anybody knows. Now, as you might think that what you are spitting out can be backed up by the Encyclopedia in all actuality, you may be the cause of the problem. As much as this may be hard to swallow people who continually spread info about other people’s lives often do not have a life of their own and are not focusing on themselves enough. True statement. Ouch!

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Like Wildfire-In most cases people who want personal info to spread, they will ultimately share it with other people themselves. The fact that someone came to you in private and shared information with you means that they trust you. Trust is a hard trait to gain, so don’t take it so lightly. If they ask for you not to spread it, you should respect them and your friendship enough to not continue to pass on rumors.

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Goes Around, Comes Around– “What goes around, comes around,” right? Right! Not trying to simply scare you but you must understand that life is a cycle. Which means whatever you put out in the world is what you will get back in your own life. So to break it down, if your are the rumor queen of your clique or school, do you not think that soon enough there is going to be a rumor spread about you pretty soon?? As basic as it might seem it’s important to treat others how you want to be treated. You would hate for the school to think you made out or even slept with a your guy friend, especially if it’s not true right?

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Just always think twice before you sip or spill the tea! You are too fly to be caught up in everybody’s world except your own!

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Stay dope.

Crush Alert!

Okay say calm, don’t freak out and most important do not tumble down these stairs. You’re good, just be yourself and don’t over think the situation. Wait, did I spill something on my shirt earlier. Ugh! I hope he doesn’t notice! Ok, ok here he comes! Wait do I look? I don’t want to stare! Oh he’s gorgeous! Oh my goodness he’s looking! He’s looking! What do I do?? Dang! I knew it was a step there!Nooo! Now, he’s going to think I’m the weird girl who can’t walk down a flight of stairs. My life is over!’

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Yes, these are all the dramatic thoughts that popped in your head 2.5 seconds before you turned the corner to walk by your crush. For the past 2 months you have been relating every love song on the radio to him and your guys “future” relationship. Now you’re tired of just imagining the first conversation you will have with him, the first laugh you, or even the first kiss. To be honest you’re not even sure how much you even like him since you guys never officially exchanged words but long glances instead.

Here are few ways to catch the eye of your secret crush

Kick Up the Confidence– You’re smart, beautiful, talented, hilarious, ambitious ….yes the list can continue to unfold. The problem isn’t that you don’t know how fly you are it’s just when you see your crush you start to question all your great traits. Well, it’s time to throw those insecurities out the door…for good! Just because you see someone you may be interested in that doesn’t mean that your characteristics vanish. Actually it’s time to embrace your qualities even more. Once you begin noticing everything you have to offer, your nervousness will go out the window. You’ll realize that he should want to get to know you better!

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Laugh It Up!– Your life is already stressful enough, do not add your crush to the list of things that keep you from getting 8 hours of sleep at night. The experience of crushing and attracting people is a fun experience. Not only guys but people are just naturally attracted to people who enjoy to have fun and are not afraid to be themselves. Once you get all the extra nervous jitters out of your system and your natural fun personality come through, you will start to see a major difference in all who you attract.

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Brains Over Beauty– Yeah, I get it. All the rules tell you to bat your eyes, switch your hips, and make sure your face of makeup is perfect to get a guy. Hmmm Toss it! Yes guys do notice your appearance but you’re already beautiful so what’s next?? If you’re truly interested in catching the guy you like stop looking at him as a guy and look at him as a person. In this case you will be able to talk to him like a friend and have a chance for you guys to truly like each other as a whole. They’re tons of fly girls but only few have a fly attitude to go along with it.

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So go ahead and catch the eye of that special guy, I’m sure it will turn the other way soon.

Lost In The Mix!

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From the parentals demanding 1,000 tasks from you to your friends wanting to be their counselor to your boyfriend missing you, it’s completely easy for you to get lost in everybody’s world! Relationships are apart of our daily routine. Yes, we all have those days where we want to crawl in bed to avoid everybody for weeks (private island, anyone?). But we have to face our lives making sure we’re managing healthy connections with people without being drained or lost in the mix of everybody’s lives! Ok, enough with the mini sermon + now to the quick tips that will change your life! ——>

Space + Time for Yourself- I know your friends are like your sisters and your boyfriend is your future husband BUT sometimes you actually need a breather from everyone. A little space + quiet times allow you to unclutter others thoughts and really dig into how you feel and your outlook in life (without anybody’s opinions).

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Everybody Is Not For Everything- Ok, have you ever been frustrated telling a friend something that they simply didn’t understand or didn’t care about? Before you write them off completely just realize you have different friends for different spaces in your life. You may have a homegirl who’s lively + fun who’s great for parties and another friend is a great listener, you see where we’re going with this? Give your friends a little space to see what their strong points are!

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Pockets of Happiness- Pause! What makes you happy? No, like really happy when no one is watching or looking.  Knowing what makes you happy will allow you to not feel drained when you deal with everybody in your life. Remember you can’t fill others glasses of happiness if yours is always empty!

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Ask + You Shall Receive-  It’s true. It can be scary to say ‘No’ to the people who you care about  because it’s a fear they may get mad or leave your life. Ok, so quiet the drama queen in your mind for a sec. and just listen. People who really love you will understand and respect your options to have time for yourself or have some ‘me’ time when you ask for a little space.

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Kisses to Y-O-U!

Oh, how love is in the air! Hugs, kisses, chocolates, bears and the oh so sweet surprise gifts that Valentine’s Day brings! So it’s great if your boyfriend or girlfriend showers you with gifts but let’s be honest who doesn’t love to spoil themselves a little bit, too?  No matter if you’re boo’d up with your love or kicking it with your girlfriends, it’s all about showering love on yourself and we’re going to show you exactly how to do it

 

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Treat Yourself! – From classes to college applications to the parentals, you barely have time exhale.  We get it.  Being a student is exhausting…seriously. Sooo it’s time to schedule some well needed  ‘me-time’ this semester. We’re not encouraging you to blow your entire allowance BUT we are saying treat yourself to something you love. A cute top, an eye catching nail polish, or just time away from everybody without feeling guilty! It’s your world and you deserve a prize every now and then!

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Playlist Party! Feeling yourself? Well, make a playlist that shows it! Create a playlist with all the songs that makes you feel like Beyonce, Michelle Obama + Naomi Campbell all in one. Crank up the volume, lock the door and have your own personal music video in your room. Yes, you’re the star of this party so you have to kill each move.

 

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Dress to Impress- Here at C.O.R.E Mag we’re HUGE believers that it’s all about your beauty shining from the inside out! So if you don’t have a beautiful or kind soul you’ll never a have true outer beauty. Now, since that’s clear….it’s time to dress up how beautiful your personality is to the world. Have fun with your style + appreciate your creativity + beauty!  One quote will wrap this whole idea up—–> “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak’ . -Rachel Zoe

Sooo say it loud & proud!

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Give IT away- Ok, so this post is all about showing yourself some love but the best way to receive love is when you give it away! Yes, what you put out in the universe is what you get back in return. So share your appreciation to your besties and fam members! It’s the start button to feeling  the love.

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Pucker  Up + Say It! –  You are the first person to hear your own words. That’s deep, right? Ok, so we’ve just dropped a little knowledge your way it’s time to head to the mirror, pucker up (we know you’ve perfected this with all your kissy face selfies for Instagram)  + say I LOVE YOU to yourself! Ok, now do it again, again, again and every morning that you wake up! Love every inch of yourself + let it shine bright! *KISSES*

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SENDING YOU BEAUTIES TONS OF LOVE YOUR WAY!

How to A.C.T. When Your BFF Throws Shade!

We’ve all been there. Your BFF starts throwing shade at you for no apparent reason. You try to ask her what’s wrong, but she just replies with a nonchalant, “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Okay, whatever,” you say. You hate when she acts like this. Everything is cool between the two of you until she comes around. You know . . . the Beyonce- wannabe whose hair extensions should have been redone two weeks ago. She actually thinks that messy bun she’s put them in hides the tracks that are as fake as she is. They’re obviously trying to detach themselves from her over-inflated head.

You roll your eyes. Your best friend didn’t even like her last year. You reminisce on how the two of you used to clown on her and have your 13 year-old brother send her text messages, pretending to be Mr. All-Star Football player—the one she’s been eyeing all year long. The three of you would die laughing reading her “sext message”replies.

But things are different now. She somehow worked her witch-like magic on your friend and now they’re hanging out all the time. But you don’t care. Even if she would’ve invited you to her sweet 16 party, you wouldn’t have gone. Nope, not a chance. It didn’t matter that they guy you’ve been crushing on since freshman year was there . . . and word on the street is he just broke up with his girlfriend. It wouldn’t have mattered that his cute, heartbroken face would’ve been inches from yours when you pulled him on the dance floor. None of that would’ve mattered,because you wouldn’t have gone to that stupid party anyway!

Sound familiar?

So what do I do, Dana, when my friends act shady?

I’m so glad you asked! I say you ACT. And ACT now.

A- Acknowledge your feelings. Be honest with yourself first. How are you really feeling? Are you maybe just a wee bit jealous of the other girl? Why? Would you secretly want to be her friend if she would only acknowledge you? Are you afraid of losing your best friend to her? You’re going to have to be real with yourself and take note of what’s really going on with you. There’s no shame in the truth. Once you acknowledge how you dana chefeel, it’s time to . . .

C- Confront your friend. The important thing to remember is you’re not trying to back her into a corner. Think about it. When a person feels under attack, they usually strike back. Your goal is to share your feelings with your friend and let her know how her behavior is making you feel. It’s not the absence of conflict that makes a relationship strong, but in how you handle the conflict. If your friendship is legit and your friend really cares about you, she will appreciate you being honest with her, even if she seems hurt in the beginning. Remember, you’re telling her how you feel . . . you’re not attacking her character.

T- Trust. Oooh, I know this is a touchy word, and to be honest once trust is broken, it’s sometimes easier just to walk away than to try to rebuild. But this is your best friend. Once you’ve had a heart-to-heart with her and she’s acknowledged your feelings (hopefully), it’s to time bury the hatchet. Don’t bring it up again and don’t expect the worse. Don’t sell out either. You know what I mean . . . being fake around the other chick to try to appease your friend. If the other girl isn’t your cup of latte, don’t force a friendship. But if you do happen to become friends with her, please find a tactful way to educate her on proper weave touchups!

-Dana Che

Dana Che is an inspirational speaker and the author of The Choice That Changed Her Life, a young adult fiction book on one girl’s journey through an emotionally abusive relationship and teenage pregnancy. When she’s not inspiring or empowering others, she can be found catching up on her favorite TV shows on her DVR or hanging with her hubby Shaun and their four amazingly wonderful children.

Learn more about Dana at http://danache.com and connect with her up on your favorite social network.

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